


The Thing Called Love

by Blue_Night



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Anal Sex, Bittersweet, Confusion, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, First Time, First Time/Last Time, Goodbyes, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Hopes and Dreams, Love Confessions, M/M, Moving On, New Club, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Doubt, make a new start
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-15 15:11:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15415722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night
Summary: Erik transfers to Huddersfield Town in England, trying to settle in there and make a new start. To his luck, there is one of his teammates who is there to help and comfort him whenever he needs a shoulder to lean on. Will Christopher also be the one helping him to get over his feelings for Marco?





	1. Surprise Visit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoForGoals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoForGoals/gifts).



> My dearest GoForGoals,
> 
> you know what this is about. <33 I will never stop shipping and writing Durmeus, but I really hope that Erik's transfer will work out for him. He needs a club that values him and gives him the chance to play and prove himself, and Huddersfield and his old and new coach might just be what he needed after the last two years. And maybe this new ship will work out nicely as well.  
> This story will have four or five chapters, I guess, I really hope that you will like it. Thank you so much for everything, I'm just so happy that we met here!! :-*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik tries to adjust to his new life, but it is harder than he thought it to be, especially when Marco rings the door bell of his new flat in Huddersfield unexpectedly, making him realize that Marco must always have returned his secret love for him - now that it is far too late for them to come together...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dearest GoForGoals,  
> this first chapter is rather painful, and I'm sorry for that, but every end is always also a new beginning, and we all have to deal with the end of something before we can start anew. It didn't feel right to just jump into his new life in another country and club, and this is what came out. Erik's new teammate Christopher will be introduced in the next chapter. He doesn't show up in the list of characters when I searched for his name in the tags, so this might actually be a real 'first' time then. :-)

Coming home still didn't really feel like coming home.

The flat was beautiful, spacious and bright, furnished with modern furnishings of high quality, but it felt empty and lifeless without all those cherished memories that make a flat or house become a real home over the course of time.

His first flats in Mainz or Dortmund hadn't felt this empty and strange at the beginning, having been so much smaller and less fancy than this one, but they had been so much more friendly and welcoming back then. Mainz and Dortmund had been the cities and the clubs he'd had chosen to be his future home himself, while Huddersfield Town had somehow been forced upon him without him having any chance to object and stay where his heart still belonged.

Erik was grateful for this unexpected but truly needed chance that had been offered to him, the chance to make a new start and save his career, he really was, and he was mature and reasonable enough to take up on it and wear a smile on his face whenever he was surrounded by other people.

Everyone had welcomed him warmly and with obvious joy in Huddersfield, especially his old and new coach David Wagner. Knowing that his former trainer from Dortmund's second team still believed in him, that David still had faith in him and in his skills was something Erik had missed dearly over the past two years, and it had been what had made him agree to the contract Huddersfield had offered to him after his first reluctance and reservations. His teammates were great, giving him the feeling that he already belonged to them and doing everything they could do to make him feel a real part of their sworn team. It was also helpful that a lot of them spoke his own mother tongue and still remembered how difficult it was to adjust to a new country and a new club, offering their help and trying to make it easier for him to settle in, something he was deeply grateful for.

But being so far away from everything he'd known and loved over the past years while he had grown up from the lanky and sometimes pretty clueless teenager to the young man he now was was hard and scary, and Erik felt another wave of homesickness crushing him as he now strolled through his new flat, wondering if he would ever feel at home here.

The first weeks after signing the contract and joining his new club had been busied with traveling and appointments, and Erik had been too occupied with adjusting to everything that came along his way to even think about his old life or feel homesick and lonely. He had shared a hotel room with one of his German teammates - and he'd actually been glad when he'd had a few minutes to himself to relax.

But this had changed when their team had gone back to England to start training and prepare everything for the new season. Now he had much more time to miss his family and his friends than he would have liked to have, to miss the familiar surroundings of his old home, the familiar roads and shops, the familiar view of the training center and the stadium.

His new teammates asked him to come over and join them for playing FIFA or watching movies on a regular basis, and Erik spent a lot of time with them, but there was always the moment when he had to go back to his own new flat, when he had to close the door behind himself and be alone with his thoughts, doubts and fears and his homesickness and feeling of loneliness.

He felt happy and eager to play a good season with his new club most of the times, and he'd started to smile and laugh a whole lot more over the last few weeks than he had laughed during his last months in Dortmund. Now he finally had a reason to laugh and smile again, but he couldn't help but miss his old home and his friends there more than he wanted to admit.

Erik sighed, walking over to the kitchen to brew some tea when the door bell rang all of a sudden, unexpectedly and making him flinch. Erik didn't know who could wish to visit him on a Sunday afternoon, his parents or closest friends had just left Huddersfield a couple of days ago, and it would take them a while until they would be able to visit him again.

Erik peered through the spyhole, feeling his mouth fall open when he recognized his surprise visitor standing on the other side of his front door. The one he refused to think of more than absolutely necessary because thinking of him was still too painful.

Marco Reus.

His former teammate, friend and secret crush for longer than Erik could remember.

They hadn't really had the chance to say goodbye to each other properly as Marco had still been on vacation when Erik had left Dortmund. They had exchanged some messages and Erik had sent Marco some pictures and replied to his comments on Instagram and his other Social Media accounts, but Erik had never in a million years expected Marco Reus to pay him a surprise visit in Huddersfield now of all times.

The door bell rang again, and Erik flinched when he realized that he was still staring through the tiny hole without moving, finally opening the door for his friend.

“Marco, what are you doing here?” he stammered, gaping at the older one as if he'd never seen him before that moment.

Marco shrugged his shoulders, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Visiting you to see how you're doing in England?” he offered a counter question as a reply, “you were gone before I even had the chance to wish you good luck after all. Your move somewhat came out of the blue, you know?”

Erik thought that Marco sounded a little bit reproachful, but it really hadn't been his fault that Marco had still been on vacation when he'd left Dortmund, had it? “Uhm, thank you, that's really nice,” he said, feeling shy and dumbfounded. Erik had really thought that he'd finally overcome his crush over the last year, having found a solid base for his friendship with Marco without giving his feelings away, but he had obviously been wrong with that, because his stupid heart started to hammer in his chest like a race horse, and Erik could feel his cheeks heat up in a bright pink color.

“You're welcome. Can I come in?” Marco gave back when Erik kept blocking the way into his flat instead of moving aside, smiling his unique crooked grin that had made Erik's knees buckle more often than he could count in the past.

“Uhm, yes, of course.” He stepped to the side to let Marco in, watching him pulling his shoes off and dropping his bag to the ground as if he was the one living here and not Erik. Erik followed him when Marco set off to explore the new home of his friend, commenting on the view and the furniture as if he was a realtor offering the flat to a possible buyer.

“Nice place you've found here,” the blond stated at last, turning around to Erik, and Erik smiled weakly. “Thanks. The club and my agency helped me with renting a flat. They know the city and the best places – close to the training center and the other players. It's only for one year, as you know, but it's better than having to stay in a hotel for weeks. I still have to get used to driving on the left side, and I'm glad that I don't have to cross the entire city for getting to the training center.” He knew that he was babbling and he snapped his mouth shut, searching desperately for a topic that would be safe to talk about.

Marco just considered him thoughtfully, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. They looked at each silently for a moment, the air filled with unspoken feelings. Erik cleared his throat when the silence between them became too much to bear, remembering what he had wanted to do when Marco had showed up on his threshold.

“Do you want something to drink, Marco? I was about to brew some tea when you rang the door bell.”

“Some tea would be great, thank you, Erik,” Marco agreed after a second of hesitation, following Erik to the kitchen to watch him brew the promised tea quietly but with attentive eyes.

“Don't you have to be in Dortmund with the others?” Erik asked after several long seconds, just to say something, and Marco shrugged his shoulders again. “I told Favre that I needed a couple of days for some private matters, and he was okay with that.”

“I see.” Erik bit down on his bottom lip, turning away from Marco's intense gaze to wait for the water to boil. There was another long pause, neither of them daring to utter their thoughts and say something that would make the other one feel uncomfortable – even more uncomfortable than they both were already feeling.

“It feels strange to train without you,” Marco finally spoke up again, and Erik stilled, his hand holding the electric kettle hovering over the pot with the tea bags. “You have trained without me over the past two years, Marco.” His voice sounded strained even to himself, and he couldn't meet Marco's eyes.

“I know. But it was different because I knew that you were there. I knew that I would meet you in the gym or cheer our team on together with you siting on the stands. But now your locker has been given to someone else, and it doesn't feel right. I didn't realize what I had in you until you were gone, as sad as it actually is.”

 

***

 

Erik didn't reply, closing his eyes and taking some careful and deep breaths. Marco moved closer to him, reaching out to stroke his cheek in a brief caress. “I know that it's my fault, Erik. You had to leave to make me realize my feelings. I guess that I simply took for granted that you would always be there, and now that you aren't there any longer, I keep telling myself how stupid and blind I've been for so long.”

Erik didn't look at him, focusing on pouring the hot water over the tea bags without spilling it onto the kitchen counter and burn himself. He was proud that his fingers trembled only slightly, but he had to grit his teeth to keep his hand from shaking until his jaw hurt.

“Is that why you came here, Marco? To make me have a bad conscience that I left Dortmund? To tell me that we could have been together – now that it is safe to tell me about your feelings because I'm gone and can't 'tempt' you any longer? ” he ground out, trying to keep his voice controlled. “I didn't want to leave, but I wasn't welcome anymore. What would you have done if you had been in my place, Marco? But you never were, that's the huge difference between us. Your injuries never threatened your position, you're still too important for the BVB, you're their only star left after all. You never had to fear that they would want to get rid of you like they wanted to get rid of so many other players!” Erik knew that he sounded as reproachful as Marco had sounded, but he didn't care about perhaps hurting him with his words – as they were the truth anyway. Rude and painful perhaps, but the plain truth nonetheless.

“No, that's not the reason why I came here, Erik. I don't want to make you a bad conscience, I know that you had no other choice. I just wanted to see you again. It's probably too late to tell you how I feel about you, but I wanted at least to see for myself that you're doing fine – that you're happy here in England.”

Erik swallowed. “I am, Marco. I feel welcome and like a real part of the team again. I'm too young to cling to foolish hopes and dreams and give up my career for them.” He didn't mention his homesickness and his feeling of loneliness, but he didn't have to, Marco could surely see them in his eyes – as much as his long suppressed feelings for him. The younger one was grateful that Marco simply nodded and accepted his words, and when the blond pulled him in his arms, Erik closed his eyes and bent his head to the side in an unconsciously inviting gesture.

Marco's kiss was bittersweet and a little bit clumsy and shy at first, their noses being in the way until they had found he right angle, but Erik didn't care as he kissed him back with all he had, Marco's scent filling his nose and his warmth seeping through his clothes.

They didn't speak on their way to Erik's bedroom, fearing that words would ruin the mood and bereave them of their only chance to be together. They stripped each other in between their messy and desperate deep kisses, naked when they fell onto Erik's bed in a heap of entangled limbs and sweaty bodies. Erik was torn between annoyance and relief when he watched Marco pulling lube and condoms out of his bag, wondering whether he'd really been so sure that Erik would sleep with him when he showed up on his threshold or if those items had just still been in his bag after his holidays.

He actually didn't want to know the reason why Marco had the things they would need tonight in his bag, and he just pulled his head down for another kiss when the older one lay down beside him again. So many nights Erik had lain awake in his lonely bed, wondering how it would feel to stroke and kiss the man he'd secretly been so crazy in love with for so long, but he should have known that reality hardly ever matched with such dreams.

_Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it._

Erik had to think of this proverb as he now lay in Marco's arms, and he remembered the words one of his teachers had said to him a couple of years ago:

_“You'll never get what you want, and you'll never know what it is good for in the end.”_

There was a certain truth in that Erik couldn't deny, even though he still wished so badly that things had turned out to be different – that he'd gotten the chance to be together with Marco much sooner.

That he'd gotten another real chance to prove himself before his beloved club had decided that it was too late for such a chance.

So his first time with the man he'd been in love for so long would also be his last time with him.

Erik knew that he had to make the best out of this one night instead of dwelling in regret about things he couldn't change anyway; hoping that the day would come when the thought of what he could have had if he'd known about Marco's feelings for him much sooner wouldn't hurt as much any longer as it actually did now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mused about writing Erik's first and last time with Marco more explicitely but decided against it, as this is meant to be a Durmindler fic and writing explicit Durmeus wouldn't have felt right here. <33


	2. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik feels sad after his night with Marco, trying hard not to let his feelings show during training. Christopher pays him an unexpected visit to keep him some company on another lonely Sunday afternoon, and the comfort he's offering to Erik might just be what Erik has secretly longed for...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dearest GoForGoals,
> 
> the first Durmindler ever, at least here on AO3, I really hope that you will like it. :-)

Erik knew that his teammates could see that something was off when he came to training after Marco's unexpected visit, even though he really tried hard not to let his hurt and confusion show. He had some practice when it came to hiding his feelings, having had to learn that the hard way over the last two years when he had almost constantly been injured, forced to smile and show unwavering optimism in public.

He smiled and laughed with his colleagues and the coaches, but some of the German players like Michael, Collin and Elias were watching him closely over the following days, and Erik felt touched how much they tried to make him feel at home and put a real smile on his face. David of course knew him well enough to see that he was feeling down right after the first look in his face, but he said nothing, apparently thinking that Erik was in the best hands possible with the other footballers of the squad. Erik was grateful that David left him alone and didn't ask him any questions, and he worked even harder during training to show his gratitude and his desire to become an important part of their team.

He spent as much of his free time with the others as he could, their talks a funny mixture of German and English, and every day that passed without another painful bout of homesickness and heartache felt like a small victory to Erik.

Their first goalkeeper Jonas oftentimes sat down next to him after their workout in the gym to talk about Mainz with him, and Erik found himself talking about his time in Mainz vividly, happy and eager to take his mind off of the night with Marco and everything that reminded him of his time in Dortmund and what he had left behind there. Talking about Mainz didn't make him feel sad, and Jonas had a good sense of humor that was really contagious.

The guys were great, a real team and all of them happy to play for Huddersfield, and Erik truly wished that he could finally get over his heartache and his longing for his old club and the things and people he had to leave behind – that he could be more grateful for this chance to stand on the pitch and play football on a regular basis again after more than two years.

Of course he was very much looking forward to his first game in the Premier League and the special atmosphere in the English stadiums he had heard so much about, and he thought that his new teammates could become real friends if he stayed long enough to really get to know them, especially one of them, a player who had come from the other Munich club TV 1860 München: Christopher Schindler.

Christopher had joined Huddersfield when the club had still played in the Football League Championship, the second league in England, and he had been the one who had shot the oh so crucial penalty shot that had brought the club back to the first league after forty-five long years of absence from the top flight.

The older one was a defender like Erik, playing on the left side, and Erik felt comfortable in his company, grateful for the unobtrusive support and friendship the dark-haired Münchner offered him without ever asking for anything in return.

Christopher had been among the first players to welcome him and offer his advice, and Erik felt drawn to him more than he'd felt drawn to anybody else in a very long time. The last time he had liked someone that much right at first sight had been when he had looked into Marco's eyes years ago, but Erik didn't want to think about Marco right now, knowing that it would only make him feel sad and lonely again. It was hard not to think of him of course, but he wouldn't let his longing for his former teammate ruin his new start and his chance to play a good season in the Premier League, no matter how hard forgetting Marco and the one special night they had spent together seemed to be.

Another visit of his family and his childhood friends distracted him from his confusion and his heartache for a while, but returning to his empty flat afterwards seemed even harder than it had been the last time – before Marco had visited him.

The sky was as cloudy as his mood was when he threw himself onto the large couch that occupied the entire space under the window front, his thoughts wandering back to the man he tried so hard not to think of against his will.

The ringing of the door bell startled him, and Erik almost fell from the couch, struggling onto his feet with a strangled sound. It couldn't be that Marco had come to visit him again, could it? Favre surely wouldn't give him another day off, not when the season had just started. They had talked on the phone a few times and texted each other, both of them careful not to mention the night they had spent together, and Erik suspected that Marco would never have slept with him if they were still playing for the same club, finding it too dangerous to give in to his deepest desires and risk his career.

The look through his spyhole confirmed his assumption that his unexpected visitor wasn't the blond Dortmunder this time, and Erik felt relieved and disappointed at the same time when he saw Christopher standing before his door.

Disappointed because he still wasn't over his feelings for Marco, relieved because he didn't think that he could face Marco at the moment without feeling even more homesick. Erik opened the door with a small, rather strained smile. “Hello Christopher.”

The older defender smiled back at him. “Hello Erik. I'm sorry for not having called you beforehand, I can leave again if you don't have time.”

“Ah, no, it's fine, please come in. My friends have just left a couple of hours ago...” Erik's voice trailed off, and Christopher gave him a sympathetic look. “The Sunday afternoons and evenings spent alone after such visits are always the hardest, I still remember quite well how I felt during my first weeks and months here. That's why I thought that you could do with some company,” he said, stepping over the threshold when Erik beckoned him to come in.

Erik took his jacket to hang it over the hook, and his smile was genuine this time when he looked at his slightly taller teammate. “Thank you, Christopher, I really appreciate that you came looking for me.”

The other one squeezed his shoulder. “That's what friends are for, aren't they?” he asked in a light and carefree voice, following Erik into the living room. “We all want you to feel at home here, and it was apparent that something's bothering you lately. Do you want to talk about it?”

Erik swallowed, unsure what to respond. “Can I offer you something to drink? A coke perhaps?” he asked back instead of a reply, knowing that he was trying to buy himself some time. Christopher only nodded with an understanding smile. “A coke would be great,” he said, and Erik went to his neat white kitchen to get two cokes from the fridge and a bottle opener from one of his kitchen cupboards.

The dark-haired defender had made himself comfortable on the couch when Erik came back, and he sat down beside him after musing for a second if he should rather take the chair on the other side of the coffee table instead. Christopher took the offered bottle, clinking it against Erik's bottle with a wink of his right eye. Erik couldn't help but smile back, returning Christopher's thoughtful gaze when he sipped from the sparkling liquid.

His new teammate and friend had beautiful eyes, the color reminding Erik of his favorite chocolate, their expression warm and soft as he regarded Erik attentively. It was clear to see that he hadn't forgotten the question he'd asked before Erik had gone to grab the cokes, but he waited patiently for him to decide whether or not he wanted to share his feelings and thoughts with him.

Erik sighed, chewing uncertainly on his bottom lip. Christopher's gaze dropped down to his mouth for a split second before he raised his eyes back to Erik's, holding his bottle with two hands between his slightly spread legs.

“I really like it here, I feel welcome and you're all so nice to me, but I still feel homesick, especially after the visits of my family and friends,” Erik finally admitted, even though homesickness wasn't the only reason for his sadness and his heartache.

Christopher nodded slowly. “It's natural to feel homesick over the first weeks and months. You're far away from them, having to adjust to living in another country for the first time, and spending two or three weeks somewhere else for your holiday is totally different from actually living in another country, I must know that, I've gone through the same two years ago.”

Erik bit down on his lip again, thinking that Christopher couldn't really know how he was feeling, the circumstances when he had joined Huddersfield being entirely different from those Erik had experienced when he'd signed the contract.

He opened his mouth, but the older defender spoke up again before Erik could object. “I know that it wasn't the same for me as it is for you, Erik, we all know that. It is much harder for you, especially with your long history of injuries and considering where you came from. And no, it's not pity that is making us wanting to help you settle in here. You're a damn good player, and I do believe that you fit in in our team perfectly – just like all the other guys do. David believes in you, and that's enough for me to believe in you too.  
Most of us are only here because he gave us a chance when no one else would do that, and look where we are now, playing in the Premier League for the second season – even though no one thought that we would make it. Huddersfield is not as big and famous as Dortmund is, but we're a good club and a good team, and playing in the English Premier League is really special and wonderful. You will soon see that for yourself, Erik.”

“Yes, I know,” Erik murmured, staring down at his own bottle. “I'm really happy to be here, and knowing that I will get the chance to play in the Premier League feels amazing. I'm grateful for the chance David offered me, and I will do my very best not to disappoint him – and you.”

Christopher smiled at him. “You won't disappoint us – we have seen you in training, remember?” He moved closer to wrap his arm around Erik's shoulders. “It's okay to feel homesick and miss your family and your friends – your old club and the city that has been your home for so long, Erik. No one expects you to shrug your shoulders and pretend that you're not having such feelings. We all know them.”

Erik unconsciously leaned against him, wishing he could tell Christopher about Marco and the night they had spent together. It was stupid to merely think of doing that, but having to deal with his feelings all alone was so hard and difficult. Erik sighed, peering up at Christopher from under his lashes, blushing when he saw the look on the other man's face.

The older defender gazed at him intently, his brown eyes dark with some emotions Erik was afraid to think more closely about them. Their faces were only inches apart from each other, Christopher's arm still holding him, his fingers stroking absentmindedly over his upper arm in a feather-light caress. Christopher put his bottle onto the table without breaking eye-contact with Erik, his free hand hanging loosely between his knees, his fingers brushing Erik's thighs when he flexed them.

Erik's heart beat fast in his chest, and he felt a soft tingling in his stomach and in his groin that quickly became stronger until he felt himself grow hard in his jeans. He wasn't sure where his sudden desire came from – was it only because he felt lonely and craved the comfort the other one was offering him so willingly - or had he actually fallen for another teammate again without noticing it?

Erik didn't want to think about the reason for his reaction to Christopher's closeness right now, and he sat there frozen in place, unable to avert his eyes from the intense gaze of the brown eyes that seemed to look straight into his soul. Christopher held his own flickering glance without saying anything for a while, apparently waiting for Erik to make up his mind and pull away from him to show him that he wasn't ready for more than a friendly hug.

Erik knew that he should pull away, but he couldn't move, he simply couldn't bereave himself of Christopher's warmth and the things the other one made him feel. His heart and his mind were fighting an inner battle, and Erik felt astonished about Christopher's seemingly endless patience. The dark-haired Münchner was only little more than two years older than he was, but he was sure about himself and what he wanted in a way Erik wasn't and probably would never be, never showing any sign of uncertainty or frustration. He always seemed to know what Erik needed before Erik realized his secret wishes himself, waiting quietly and with a small smile on his face for Erik to take what he was offering to him - or to decline it and draw back.

Erik's aching heart made the decision for him, silencing the voice of reason that this here wasn't a good idea at all, and Erik instinctively leaned closer and tilted his head to the side before he could stop himself. Christopher let his eyes drop down to his mouth, very slowly pulling Erik closer with his arm – Erik's last chance to move to the other side of the couch and avoid the inevitable.

Erik stared at Christopher's sensitive lips, only millimeters apart from his own now, and he closed his eyes when Christopher's scent filled his nose, so male and so tempting. His natural fragrance was different from the way Marco smelled, and Erik was grateful that he didn't use the same aftershave the blond Dortmunder used because he couldn't stand being reminded of his first love in this moment.

Christopher smelled of warm skin, of the fresh and musky aftershave he used, of leather, sun and peppermint, and he tasted like he smelled, of healthy young male, so deliciously and irresistibly. Erik could taste the coke Christopher had just drunk, and the peppermint he must have chewed before he'd come here, but most of all he tasted of Christopher, and Erik opened his mouth with a soft moan to welcome him when the other man gently nudged his lips with the tip of his tongue.

The still rather cold bottle he was holding in his hand like a protecting shield was trapped between their chests, leaving damp traces on their shirts, and Christopher's chuckle tickled at his tingling lips when he gently took the bottle out of Erik's sweaty hand to put it onto the coffee table where it would be safe and out of the way. Erik's arms instantly came up to enclose Christopher's shoulders tightly when he didn't have the bottle to hold on to any longer, clinging to the other one as if the dark-haired Münchner was Erik's only lifeline.

Christopher made a soothing sound deep in his throat when he finally deepened the kiss, as gently and slowly as he had pulled him closer, just as if he was afraid to scare Erik away if he moved too fast. Erik let out a frustrated snarl and pushed his tongue deep into Christopher's mouth, wanting nothing more than to lose himself in the warm embrace and the passion of their first kiss.

Christopher was a good kisser, teasing and challenging Erik at the same time, and it didn't take long until Erik forgot about his confused feelings and all of his doubts, dwelling in their ardent making out and Christopher's soft caresses. Goosebumps were forming on his arms where the other one was stroking him, and he pulled impatiently at his shoulders until they lost their balance and landed on the couch, Erik lying flat on his back with Christopher halfway on top of him.

Erik was achingly hard in his jeans, and he couldn't remember that he had been so aroused and hard when Marco had kissed him for the first time a couple of weeks ago. The unwelcome thought made him flinch and tense up, a small sound of distress escaping his mouth. Christopher tried to draw back from his swollen lips instantly when he sensed that something was wrong, but Erik dug his nails into the short dark hair at the nape of his neck and pulled him close again, his mind clouded with need and desire. “Chris... please...don't stop...I need...” he whispered, hardly recognizing his own voice.

“Shshsh, it's fine, I won't.” Christopher obeyed his unspoken order and kissed him again, nibbling at his full bottom lip and gently sucking it between his teeth. “You smell so good, handsome, you taste so good, so, so good,” the older one murmured, licking his way around in Erik's mouth curiously and eagerly.

They lay on the couch pressed close together from their chests to their groins, and Erik felt another hot wave of lust shooting through him when Christopher's desire for him was pressing against his hipbone when he shifted his weight. It was comforting and soothing to know that the other one was aroused as well, hard like he was, and Erik melted into the strong arms holding him. Their lips were glued to each other, neither of them wanting to end their desperate kisses, only drawing back when the need for air forced them to take some hasty breaths before they tried to literally eat one another again. Christopher's hands were stroking his back, his arms and his flanks, caressing and exploring his long legs and his backside.

The soft cotton of Erik's long-sleeved shirt and the rougher denim of his jeans that built a thin barrier between Christopher's hands and his burning skin only served to intensify the sensations the tender caresses aroused in him, making him arch up against the other man and writhe beneath him. His throbbing cock twitched in its tight prison, and Erik couldn't keep his painful whimpers inside, his need for release becoming stronger and stronger with every new touch and every deep kiss. His mouth was tingling and oversensitive from the passionate onslaught of Christopher's kisses, and the hoarse words of desire the other man was breathing against his bruised lips pulled more moans and gasps from him.

“You're so beautiful, handsome, I can't get enough of you.” Erik couldn't remember the last time someone had called him by a petname – except for his parents and his sister, that is – and hearing Christopher calling him 'handsome' did strange things to him and let his arousal rise to new levels.  
His mind was spinning, and Erik rubbed his groin against the other man's body in the desperate search for more friction. He was vaguely aware that he should stroke and caress Christopher too, instead of just clinging to his shoulders for dear life, but he couldn't loosen his tight embrace, his arms tightening their desperate grip every time he tried to do so.

Christopher seemed to be fine with that though, because he just deepened his kiss and let his hand wander down to Erik's crotch, stroking over the jeans-covered throbbing bulge a few times. His touch was light, but it made Erik's hips buck up and his fingers dig into Christopher's hair again. The Münchner drew back from Erik's bruised mouth to look down at him, his hand cupping his aching erection under the denim.

“May I, handsome?” he asked gently, his fingers tugging at the zipper that kept him from touching Erik's hard cock without any barrier separating them.

Erik blinked and swallowed, not trusting his voice when he cautiously nodded his head, staring up into Christopher's flushed face. The skin around his mouth felt sensitive where the other one's dark stubble had scratched it, and Erik thought that he must be a truly embarrassing sight with his burning cheeks, his dazed eyes and his ruffled hair, but there was only desire and admiration visible in Christopher's dark eyes, tenderness and the same overwhelming longing Erik felt.

Christopher regarded him for two or three long seconds before he leaned down to kiss him again, opening Erik's belt one-handed with deft fingers. Erik hissed when the pressure on his poor cock eased and cool air grazed the wet tip of his arousal when Christopher pulled at the zipper to liberate it from the offending garment. His fingers felt hot on his pulsing dick, a little bit rough from the workouts with the dumb bells – but so perfect and amazing when the dark-haired finally enclosed him with his hand.

“Oh...oh, fuck!” Erik squeezed his eyes shut, struggling not to lose it right there and then. More milky droplets of precome leaked out of the slit, coating Christopher's fingers when he started to stroke up and down on his shaft after a short moment. Erik couldn't keep his hips still, moving rhythmically against Christopher's strokes with something akin to urgent despair, his blood thrumming loudly in his own ears.

He knew that he should pleasure the other man as well, but it felt so good to lie in Christopher's arms and let himself be stroked and kissed, and he really needed to hold on to him, fearing that he would lose solid ground if he didn't.

“Hmm, you feel amazing, handsome, so amazing.” Christopher whispered into his mouth, mirroring the movements of his hand with his tongue, thrusting deep into Erik's mouth. Erik could feel the well-known tension of his climax build at the end of his spine, and he moved his hips faster, his cock growing harder and bigger in Christopher's tender fingers. Every cell inside his body screamed with the need for release, and he was making embarrassing noises the entire time, groaning and panting with every firm up and down on his rock-hard dick.

“I love doing that for you, handsome, you're amazing.” Christopher drew back from his lips to watch him when he sensed how close Erik was, but Erik buried his face in the warm crook of his neck, too shy to let the other man see his face when he came. He muffled his long throaty moan on Christopher's shoulder when the tension became too much to bear and his cock exploded with the first wave of his orgasm, spilling his release all over the clever fingers stroking him through his height without faltering. More spurts followed, and Erik moaned again, his entire body shaking and shivering with the force of his climax and every new wave of ecstasy that captured him.

Christopher caressed him until Erik softened in his hand, totally spent and exhausted from the force of his feelings. He was still watching Erik – at least those parts of Erik's face that weren't hidden in his shirt - and he stilled the movements of his hand without loosening his tender grip fully, waiting patiently for Erik to pull himself together again and face him.

When Erik finally did, turning his head a little bit to gaze shyly at him, Christopher smiled tenderly at him. “Are you good, handsome?”

“More than good, thank you.” Erik took a deep breath and pulled back from Christopher's shoulder because he couldn't hide his face forever. He licked over his swollen lips and smiled back, reaching out with one hand to return the favor and pleasure him as well. His arm ached from the tight grip around his back, but he was determined to show the other one that he wasn't so bad at giving a proper hand job either.

“I want to do the same for you,” he whispered, but Christopher shook his head with another smile. “You don't need to, handsome,” he said, and Erik frowned a little bit. Christopher had been as aroused as he himself had been, his desire must be painful by now. “But I really want to, I... I want you to get your fill too,” he murmured uncertainly, fearing that he had offended the older one when he hadn't returned the favor right away.

Christopher chuckled, wiping his hand with one of the tissues Erik kept on his coffee table before gently taking Erik's hand to place it on his crotch. Erik swallowed when he realized that Christopher was soft underneath his jeans, the black denim a little bit damp under his fingers. He felt disappointed that Christopher obviously didn't desire him as much as Erik desired him, drawing his hand back and trying to turn away from him. The dark-haired Münchner kept him from doing so, kissing him on the tip of his nose with another soft chuckle.

“You misunderstood me, handsome. I've already gotten my fill. Sensing your ecstasy was too exciting for me to hold back,” Christopher said, his brown eyes sparkling with mischief when he gazed down at Erik. Erik's eyes widened when the other man's words sank in and the penny finally dropped.

“Oh, uhm, okay, that's...” He blushed furiously, his face burning deep red. Christopher cupped his cheek with the hand that had pleasured him so much, the faint smell of Erik's release still detectable under the scent of warm skin. “I should be the one feeling embarrassed that I came in my pants like a horny teenager, not you, handsome. Just take it as the compliment it actually is,” he stated dryly, winking at Erik with his right eye again – apparently not feeling embarrassed at all. Erik blushed even more, but he could finally relax and smile back. “Flatterer,” he murmured, earning another kiss on his nose with that.

Erik closed his eyes when Christopher searched for his lips again with a small contented sigh, wrapping his arms around the other one's neck again and kissing him back. They were both sated and relaxed, their kisses still deep and passionate, but without the urgency they had had earlier.

“I like you, Erik, I really do,” Christopher said when they parted again, looking down at him with dark eyes. Erik swallowed, unsure how to respond to that declaration. He really liked Christopher as well, but he was aware that the dark-haired Münchner had meant his words in another way.

“I like you too, Chris, it's just that I...”

Christopher regarded him silently for a while. “It's Marco, isn't it?” he asked, his voice calm and understanding, without any reproach audible. Erik just nodded quietly, forcing himself to meet his gaze openly. “We're not together or something like that. It's just that I'm still not really over him,” he gave back, not bothering to ask Christopher why he knew about his feelings for Marco. They were probably an open secret to a whole lot more people than Erik had thought.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered, but Christopher smiled at him. “Don't be, handsome, I knew that you still have feelings for him before I came here. I like you, but your friendship means more to me. I'm fine with giving you the time you'll need to find out what you really want. What do you think about us just spending time together and taking things slow – seeing where this will take us?” he suggested, and Erik felt his lips curl into a genuine smile. “I would love that, Chris, thank you.”

“That's great!” Christopher beamed at him, placing a soft kiss onto his forehead before pulling him up into a sitting position. “The guys have asked us to come over. It's still early, and they want to order some takeaway and watch a movie. I need to take a shower and change into fresh clothes for some obvious reasons...” he grinned mischievously at him, and Erik couldn't help but blush again, chuckling when Christopher gave him a gentle dig in the ribs.

“...but I could pick you up afterwards. I know that you're still not really comfortable with driving on the 'wrong' side, and I guess that you want to take a shower as well.”

Erik nodded. “Yes, I would like that very much,” he admitted, relieved and grateful that Christopher was willing to make it easier for him and give him the time he needed to come to terms with his confused feelings without pushing him.

“Great, I'll be back in about an hour then. I'll text Elias and Collin that we'll be there in one and a half hours. Is Chinese okay with you?” Erik nodded, and Christopher briefly stroked his cheek before he got up from the couch to head for the front door, and Erik followed him and waved at him until the Münchner had disappeared downstairs and was out of sight.

His phone buzzed with an incoming message from Marco just when Erik had closed the door, but he ignored it, walking over to his bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the evening with his new friends with a smile on his face.


	3. Heart Throb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik slowly starts to feel at home in Huddersfield, and his heart starts to throb and beat faster whenever Christopher is around...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dearest GoForGoals,
> 
> I'm so happy that you like my first try writing Durmindler for you so much. I included a part with Kloppo for you in this chapter, and it has a special first time as I know that you love firsts so much. ;-* I decided not to make any assumptions about Erik's first games in England or their matches, this story therefore focuses on the other parts of Erik's life in Huddersfield. <33

Erik had been worried at first that their intimate encounter had ruined his still building and fragile friendship with Christopher, but the older defender kept his promise and didn't rush him, treating Erik not any differently from how he had treated him before his unexpected visit on that cloudy Sunday afternoon.

He was always there to give Erik some good advice and tell him the things he needed to know about the English football, the Premier League and the fans, and Erik felt comfortable in his presence, even when they were alone with each other, trusting Christopher that he wouldn't demand more from him than he could give him at this point.

Erik enjoyed spending his time with Christopher together with the other guys, playing FIFA, watching movies or just talking, but he was even happier when they were alone, exploring the beautiful region together or spending time either at Christopher's place or his own. Sometimes they just talked, but they also made out again on a regular basis, kissing and pleasuring each other with their hands. They never made it to the bedroom though, only using the large sofas in either his own or Christopher's living room for their make-out sessions, always keeping at least some of their clothes on. Erik was grateful that the dark-haired Münchner never asked him to take things further and actually sleep with him, but sometimes he had a bad conscience and asked himself for how much longer the dark-haired defender would wait patiently for him to make up his mind.

They went to dinner together with their friends or sometimes just the two of them, and Erik felt homesick and lonely less and less, his natural optimism helping him to get over the short bouts of sadness and homesickness.

He texted with Marco but he was always careful to keep his messages safe and cheerful, just like friends and former teammates would do, and his heart started to throb and beat faster when he got a message from Christopher just as much as it started to race when he saw Marco's name popping up on the display of his phone.

The season was still young when he got another unexpected visit, Jürgen Klopp suddenly standing on the pitch during one of their training sessions. David and Jürgen were close friends since their time in Dortmund, and Erik of course knew that the two of them visited each other oftentimes, but this time Jürgen hadn't come to see Erik's coach, but to see how his former player was doing in his new home, and Erik felt his throat tightening when he shook the older man's hand and looked into his eyes.

Jürgen smiled at him, pulling him into a tight hug. “It's always a pleasure to see one of my boys again,” Jürgen said, patting Erik's shoulder when he let go of him, and Erik swallowed and drew in a shaky breath, sensing Christopher's eyes upon his face when he smiled back at his former mentor. There was so much Jürgen Klopp had done for him, and Erik would never be able to thank him enough and give him back at least half of that.

“How are you doing, lad, have you already started to feel at home here?” Jürgen took Erik by his shoulders to observe him critically, and Erik's eyes instinctively darted to Christopher watching them silently from where he stood several meters away from them. He quickly looked back at Jürgen when he realized what he was doing, but the coach followed his gaze, locking eyes with the other defender for a second before focusing his attention back on his former charge. Erik was glad that he didn't said anything though, just smiled as he waited for Erik's answer.

“I'm doing fine, Jürgen, thank you. The guys are great, and I really love being here,” he said, hoping that his voice didn't sound too hoarse.

Jürgen pursed his lips, nodding slowly. “You look much happier than I've seen you looking in a long time, Erik. I've never let you out of my sight during all those years, but I wanted to come here and see for myself that you're doing fine. I've asked David for permission to invite you over for dinner tonight, and he knew better than to deny me my wish.” Jürgen grinned very smugly, and Erik could only gape at him, thinking that he must be trapped in a pleasant dream. “Oh, uhm, thank you, that's awesome, Jürgen,” he stammered, feeling a huge smile spread across his features.

His new life in England had started so much better than he could have hoped for, and Erik was determined to make the best out of the chance he'd been given, no matter how much the thought of Dortmund and what he'd left behind was still hurting.

 

***

 

Erik enjoyed his evening with Jürgen very much, and it gave him another push and boosted his determination to give his best and become an invaluable part of his new team. Christopher noticed his newly regained confidence with a smile, and David praised him during training, obviously content with his performance.

They settled into a nice routine over the next days and weeks, and time passed by quickly. Christopher still didn't push him, taking what Erik was willing to give him without trying to come closer to Erik than he felt comfortable with, and Erik found himself musing about spending an entire night with the other man more and more often.

Marco still occupied his dreams once in a while though, and Erik still felt this painful longing whenever he talked to the blond Dortmunder or read a message from him, but the sharp heartache slowly faded to a vague wistfulness he could push into the farthest corner of his mind most of the times.

Christopher was driving him home one evening after a party they had been invited to, Erik staring out of the window to watch the dark landscape flying by, while Christopher focused on the road in front of them. The silence between them was surprisingly comfortable, and Erik almost regretted it when the street where he lived came into sight much sooner than he would have liked to arrive there. They had spent the evening with two of their teammates who had celebrated their birthdays together, and Erik didn't want to climb out of Christopher's car and say goodbye to his – whatever Christopher actually was to him.

The dark-haired Münchner killed the engine and turned his head to smile at Erik. “We're there,” he stated the obvious. “Did you have fun?”

Erik was glad that the darkness hid his blushing at least partly. It was annoying sometimes that he blushed with every opportunity, and he smiled at the older one ignoring the heat in his cheeks as best as he could. “Yes, I had, it was a wonderful evening. And thank you for giving me a ride, Chris.”

“That's great, I'm glad that you were enjoying yourself, handsome. And you're welcome, at any time.” Christopher didn't move, just looked at Erik as he waited for him to leave the car and wish him goodnight.

“Uhm – would you like to come up with me?” Erik murmured, hoping that Christopher wouldn't notice how loud his heart was beating in his chest. It had been a long time since he'd last felt such a heart throb, and he furtively wiped his damp palms on his dark jeans to dry them.

Christopher regarded him attentively, his brown eyes sparkling in the darkness surrounding them. “Are you sure, Erik?” he wanted to know just before the silence between them became uncomfortable, and Erik just nodded quietly, fumbling for his seat belt with trembling fingers. The next training was only late in the afternoon, and he really wanted Christopher to come up with him.

“Yes, I am,” he confirmed, proud that his voice sounded calm. He had felt giddy throughout the entire party, hoping that none of the others would take a close look at his crotch and see the hidden glances he'd been eyeing the older one with the whole evening. Erik knew that he would be crashed if Christopher declined his offer – now that he had finally worked up the courage to invite him in for the night.

“Yes, I want to come up with you, handsome,” Christopher said after a little eternity, reaching out to briefly stroke Erik's hot cheek. Erik let out a sigh, glad when the belt came off after the second attempt.

Christopher followed him silently, giving him time to get his beating heart and his breathing back under control, but he pulled him in his arms to kiss him the minute the door had closed behind them. For a long time, they just stood there in the dark hallway, kissing each other ardently, and it was Erik who started to walk backwards and pull the other man with him in the direction of his bedroom. Christopher followed him, never letting him out of his arms, even when they started to undress each other on their way with impatient hands.

Erik's knees hit the bed-frame by the time they were naked for the first time, and he was grateful that Christopher didn't ask him to turn the lights on, gently pressing him down onto the mattress instead. He was burning with desire, stroking every inch of warm and bare skin within his reach while he searched for Christopher's soft lips again, a violent shiver wrecking him when their proud erections brushed against each other for the first time.

Erik had seen Christopher naked beforehand of course, when they had showered after training or used the sauna together, but it was different now, because Christopher was naked for him only for the first time, and he also hadn't been aroused and hard when they had showered, surrounded by their teammates and careful not to look at each other too openly.

“I could happily spend my life with kissing you, handsome,” Christopher whispered against his lips, nibbling and licking at them until Erik felt dizzy with desire, and he moaned and pulled him closer, stroking his back and his flanks ardently. “Hmm, that would be a shame, you would be dearly missed on the pitch,” Erik chuckled breathlessly, “besides, I hope that you want to do more than just kiss me tonight.” He went silent when he realized what he'd just implied, but Christopher didn't give him the time to think about his words more closely, starting another attack on his mouth with a pleased growl.

“I plan to shamelessly indulge you tonight, handsome, don't you doubt that.” He turned Erik on his back, trapping him beneath his own strong body to explore the soft cavern of his mouth once more. Erik instinctively tensed up when he felt Christopher's impressive manhood nudging his thigh, so hard and big and aroused that it pulled another shiver from him.

Erik really wanted to spend the night with him, he really wanted to come closer to him and do more than just share some hand jobs with him on the couch, but he still remembered his night with Marco in this bed so well, and he suddenly wasn't so sure any longer that he could really do this.

Christopher raised his head to look down at him, tenderly stroking his face when he felt how tensed and stiff the younger one suddenly was. “Do you trust me, Erik?” he asked quietly, and Erik felt stupid and ashamed that he'd thought that Christopher would try to take him even though he wasn't ready for that.

He swallowed, meeting Christopher's dark gaze openly. “Yes, I do, Chris.”

“Good. Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen, never.” Christopher kissed him again, and Erik relaxed, trying to make up for his mistrust by laying all of the passion he felt for him in his kiss. Christopher hummed reassuringly and started to kiss his way down on Erik's body, lavishing attention on his hard nipples until Erik was a moaning and trembling mess.

“Ah, you like that, handsome, don't you? I'll keep that in mind. You're so beautiful, you deserve to be worshiped and indulged like that.” He teased the hard and sensitive knobs for a while longer before traveling further down, pulling a hoarse cry from his prey when he reached the one part of Erik's body that was throbbing and aching for him.

“Hm, let's find out if you taste as deliciously as I think that you do,” Christopher murmured, blowing softly over Erik's hard and wet cock. Erik cried out, tugging at the bed-sheets because he really needed something to hold on to. The dark-haired Münchner chuckled, making himself comfortable between Erik's spread legs to put his words into action and give the hard cock twitching right before his eyes a first teasing lick. His tongue was warm and wet, a little bit rough, and it felt amazing on Erik's aching dick, especially when Christopher wrapped one had around the base to massage the thick vein at the underside of his rock-hard member.

Erik tried to keep his hips still, supporting his weight on his elbows in order not to miss the incredible sight of Christopher's tousled shock of thick dark hair bobbing up and down between his legs. He was already close, although the other one hadn't even started to suck him off in earnest, and he could feel his toes curl as he tried to keep his self-control and enjoy Christopher's ardent ministration for as long as possible.

“Hmm, you taste even better than I thought that you'd do,” Christopher said, swallowing Erik's hard shaft with one swift move.

“Fuck, fuck, uuuuuhhh, Chris!!!” Erik gasped out, his hips jerking involuntarily. He panted, sweat dropping into his eyes, and it wasn't really helpful that Christopher teased the pulsing slit with the tip of his tongue now, coaxing a generous amount of precome out of it. Erik's heart was trying to hammer its way out of his chest, his blood rushing fast and hot through his veins, and his mind was clouded and dazed, his burning groin becoming the center of Erik's body when Christopher massaged him with his lips and teased him with his tongue, using his hand for help to intensify his caresses as well.

Erik made embarrassing sounds, mewls and groans escaping his lips, but they only spurred Christopher on to go faster, and Erik couldn't even warn him before his cock started to pump and spurt, his hoarse “I'm close!” dying in his throat when his ecstasy washed over him in huge waves again and again.

Christopher just swallowed every drop Erik was feeding him with, licking him clean afterwards when it was over and Erik dropped back onto the mattress, trying to catch his breath. His body was humming with satisfaction, but he didn't feel tired, not wanting this night to ever end.

“Hmm, just the dessert I was hoping for.” Christopher smiled at him when he crawled back beside him, stroking over his lips with his thumb. Erik looked at him, sighing happily when the other man bent down to kiss him. He could taste himself on the warm lips, and he opened his mouth for him and melted against Christopher's strong frame.

“Have you ever been on top?” Christopher whispered when they parted again, smiling at Erik. Erik blinked. “Uhm, not so much,” he admitted, not sure that he had heard right. Christopher surely wouldn't want to bottom for him knowing that Erik didn't want to return the favor – at least not in the near future? He was the older one, the more experienced one, he certainly preferred to top?

“Then it is about time that you get to know how amazing it feels when another man comes for you this way, don't you think so?” Christopher asked with a smile and a wink, and Erik thought that he must be dreaming.

“Are you sure? You don't need to do that,” he murmured, but he was already half-hard again, the mere thought of being allowed to sleep with Christopher this way exciting him pretty much. Christopher peered down at Erik's unmistakable reaction to his proposal, grinning tenderly when he returned to meet Erik's gaze. “Never been surer about anything in my life, handsome. Besides, you don't really look as if you were opposed to topping me either – quite the opposite,” he teased him with a soft chuckle, and Erik simply had to wrap his arms around him and push him down to kiss him that eagerly that they almost lost their balance and rolled down from the bed.

Christopher caught them before they fell down, jerking his head in the direction of Erik's nightstand. “Do you have what we'll need?” he asked, and Erik nodded and pulled at the drawer, grateful that Christopher didn't ask him why he kept condoms and lube in his nightstand – even though he wasn't ready to give himself to him at the moment.

Christopher just smiled, guiding him gently through the necessary preparation, and Erik followed his orders and tried to make it as pleasurable as possible for the wonderful man who continued to amaze him with everything he did.

He was nervous like hell when he finally covered the older one with his body, murmuring silent prayers that he wouldn't fuck this up and disappoint Christopher by coming too soon or – even worse – hurting him in any way.

“You're doing great, handsome. Don't think so hard, just go with your feelings,” Christopher encouraged him, “you can't do anything wrong if you just listen to your heart.” Erik's heart was still beating like a hammer in his chest, and he drew in several deep breaths, trying to enter Christopher as gently as he was able to do in his painful arousal. His nervousness hadn't quenched the fire of his desire burning in his veins, and preparing the dark-haired Münchner with his fingers, feeling the smooth and hot walls clench around his digits so tightly, had made it hard for him to keep his composure.

“I don't want to hurt you,” Erik croaked out, but Christopher just pulled him close, pressing his hands against Erik's backside. “You won't. Don't think, just feel,” the older one whispered against his lips, and Erik sighed and kissed him, cautiously starting to move. It felt better than anything Erik could remember, and he moaned, thrusting into Christopher's tight heat all over again and again. Christopher sighed and gasped with every push into his quivering channel, clearly enjoying their lovemaking, and Erik soon became bolder, raising his head to watch his lover and change the angle of his thrusts until Christopher suddenly arched up against him with a loud moan and a heavy shudder.

“Aaahh, yes, that's where you need me, right?” Erik asked, feeling happy and brave, repeating what he had done with his hips several times. Christopher shivered and groaned, throwing his head back on the pillow. “Fuck, yes, do that again, handsome. That's so good, just don't stop!” he gasped out, and Erik thrust into him faster and faster, his world shrinking to the creaking bed and the man in his arms.

“I won't stop, not before you have come for me,” he promised, snaking his hand between their connected bodies to make sure that Christopher would get his fill and come before he would lose it. He was so close to bursting, so close to exploding in the most intensive orgasm he'd ever had, but he really wanted Christopher to find satisfaction before him, and if it was the last thing he did in this world.

“Want you so much, Chris,” he murmured, watching the older one closely as he wrapped his hand around Christopher's hard cock. He stroked up and down on the throbbing shaft, matching his strokes with his thrusts as best as he could. Hot white lust was pooling in his groin, licking at the end of his spine, and Erik muffled his moans of pleasure on Christopher's throat, blindly searching for his lips when the other man turned his head to the side.

They kissed each other with teeth and tongue, and Erik's next thrust against Christopher's most sensitive spot was enough to push the dark-haired over the edge, making him come hard between their bodies. Hot wetness coated Erik's fingers, and he groaned and let go of his iron self-control, filling the rubber with his release when he followed Christopher into the abyss of sweet oblivion. It was such a relief to just let go and stop thinking, his fingers flexing around Christopher's spurting member with the waves of his own ecstasy.

Nothing had ever felt so good, and Erik heard himself murmuring words of passion against Christopher's damp throat, words that didn't make sense but proved to his lover that their lovemaking meant as much to Erik as it meant to Christopher himself.

For a while they just lay there, softly panting into each other's ears, and Erik felt peaceful and happy for the first time in months, no worries or doubts troubling his pleasantly blank mind. The throbbing of his heart slowed down more and more with every breath, his body relaxing and snuggling close to the other man.

“That was wonderful, handsome, thank you.” Christopher finally whispered against his temples, and Erik sleepily raised his head from his shoulder and smiled shyly at him. “I have to thank you. It was just wow. Thank you for doing this for me.”

“You're welcome, Erik. We really should do that again.” Christopher's eyes were dark and tender, and Erik's heart made a happy flip before it started to beat with emotions Erik couldn't ignore but still wasn't ready to explore further right now.

“Really? Now?” he teased the other man to hide his confusion, and Christopher shook his head and rolled his eyes in faked exasperation. “Of course not, silly. Old men need their beauty sleep, you know?”

Erik snickered, gently digging Christopher in his ribs. “You're not old, and you're already beautiful enough.”

“Do you really think so?” Christopher asked, begging for more compliments with big puppy eyes before becoming serious again. “Do you want me to leave you, handsome?” he asked, and Erik could hear the hidden worry that Erik could him want to leave him alone in his quiet voice. He didn't need think about that, and he shook his head vigorously. “No, please stay. I have a toothbrush for you, and I really want you to sleep beside me tonight.”

Christopher pulled his head down for another ardent kiss, and Erik kissed him back before cuddling up against him with a yawn. “I'm so glad that I came to Huddersfield,” he whispered when he felt his eyelids become heavy and start to droop shut. Christopher kissed him on his cheeks and pulled the covers over their cooling bodies, rubbing tender circles over Erik's back until he lay pliant in his arms, already halfway asleep, Christopher's softly whispered words the last thing he heard before the slumber of satisfaction claimed him:

“I'm glad that you came to Huddersfield too, handsome. I really am.”


	4. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik gets another unexpected visit from marco just when he's about to have a date with Christopher...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dearest GoForGoals,
> 
> I know that we're on the same page, wishing Erik good luck and hoping that he will be happy in Huddersfield. This chapter is bittersweet again, but every end is also a new start, we only have to make the best out of it. I really hope that Erik will be able to make the best out his new start in England. <33

Erik sometimes feared that he was only dreaming and would wake up from this wonderful dream soon again, finding himself lying in a hospital bed somewhere in a rehab center, fearing for his health and career like it had been so many times over the last two years.

He still wasn't sure what Christopher was to him – even not after their wonderful night. Christopher was caring and attentive and kind as always, he was passionate and tender and gave Erik the feeling that he was precious and special, but he had never told him again that he liked him since that Sunday afternoon, and he never asked Erik how he felt about him and their relationship. Was it only because he'd promised Erik to be patient and give him the time he needed, or was it because his feelings for Erik weren't as deep as Erik hoped that they were?

He couldn't be sure until he asked him, and Erik realized over the following days that it was upon him to make the first move and talk to the older defender about their relationship - or whatever it was that they had going on.

It would have been so much easier if he'd been certain about his own feelings.

His heart started to hammer every time Christopher called or texted him, it made happy flips whenever Erik caught a glimpse of Christopher's tall figure, and he found himself thinking about the dark-haired Münchner a lot of times during the days and nights, longing badly for him when he wasn't there.

Christopher sometimes stayed overnight now, and he had bottomed for Erik three or four more times, but he always waited for Erik to offer him to stay and never asked him to be the one on top. It would probably stay that way until next summer if Erik didn't take matters in his own hands.

The problem was that his stupid heart still beat faster every time Marco called or texted him as well, and that he still dreamed of that one night with the blond Dortmunder more often than he would have liked to. It confused Erik to no end, and he was torn between his wish to finally move on and leave the past behind and his longing for the what-if-possibility of what could have happened if he'd been allowed to stay in Dortmund.

They were playing a training match one afternoon a few days after their last passionate night, and Erik caught himself staring at Christopher once more, unable to avert his eyes from the handsome male features of the other defender. They played on different sides this time, both of them determined to win this training match for their team. Christopher grinned challenging at him every time he tried to steal the ball from Erik, and his cheeks were pink from the exertion, dark strands falling into his forehead, his beautiful brown eyes sparkling in his flushed face whenever he looked at Erik.

Erik watched him running over the pitch fighting against the sudden overwhelming urge to chase after him and stroke the soft strands out of his face. He promptly missed the ball Michael passed in his direction, and Christopher didn't show any mercy, stopping the ball with his foot and passing it over to Laurent who didn't hesitate, his shot too hard for Ben to catch it. The ball fidgeted in the net before Erik knew what was happening to him, and the sight of Laurent hugging Christopher tightly to thank him for the perfect assist made Erik's stomach tie into a tight knot.

 _'He's mine, take your fucking hands off him!'_ everything inside him screamed that Christopher was his to touch and hug only, and he barely noticed the forceful dig he got in his side from one of his own teammates. “You can pine after him after training, Durm, focus on the ball please, we have a match to win!” Michael gazed down at him with an amusedly raised eyebrow, and Erik blushed, but the defender only winked at him and jogged off to get the ball and make sure that their team wouldn't lose the training match.

Erik followed Michael a little bit slower, darting another quick glance in Christopher's direction, and when their eyes met for a second, Erik finally knew what he had to do.

 

***

 

Erik checked himself in the mirror for the umpteenth time, hoping that the clothes he'd chosen would tell Christopher that this was a special date for him. He hadn't wanted to overdo it and dress too formal or wear clothes he wouldn't feel comfortable with, but the tight dark blue jeans he wore weren't ripped this time, and the black shirt with the long sleeves hugged his figure in a very appealing way. Erik was content with his looks, and he hoped that Christopher would notice the difference and know what it meant.

The ringing of the door bell startled him, because Christopher had told him that he would pick him up around half past six, and the clock had just announced the sixth hour a couple of minutes ago. He went to the door without looking through the spyhole, gulping for air and freezing in place when he saw who had come to visit him.

“Marco, what the heck are you doing here?” Erik croaked out when he had found his tongue again, staring at the blond in shocked surprise. His heart drummed in his chest, and he felt almost sick, clinging to the door because he feared that he would lose his balance if he didn't.

“Uhm, hello Erik. Can I come in, please?” Marco mumbled with a frown, apparently disappointed about Erik's reaction. Erik blinked, and he needed a moment until Marco's question got through to him.

“Äh, yes, of course.” He moved to the side reluctantly, but he knew that he had to invite his former teammate in. The talk they needed to have wasn't meant for their neighbors to overhear it.

Marco stepped over the threshold, observing Erik silently. “You look good, Erik,” he said, and he didn't sound as if he was happy for his friend that he'd started to settle in and feel at home here, but more as if he'd hoped that Erik would look pale and homesick.

They hadn't talked to each other for more than one week, and Erik still could hardly believe his eyes that Marco had come to visit him. The blond Dortmunder had texted him only few times over the last weeks, and Erik had been sad but thought at the same time that it might be for the best this way. It was clear that Marco wasn't ready for a serious relationship with another man, let alone a former teammate, and the training match had opened Erik's eyes for what he really wanted.

Who he really wanted.

That's why he had asked Christopher out for a date, and Marco's visit had thrown him off pretty much. His long suppressed feelings for Marco made his throat clench, and he desperately searched for the right words to explain to him that he had changed and wasn't the same Erik Marco had once known any longer.

The door bell ringing for the second time within half an hour made both of them flinch violently, and Erik felt himself paling, knowing quite well what the situation must look like to Christopher when he saw Marco standing in Erik's hallway and Erik being dressed up like that.

The bad thing was that Erik actually hadn't really asked Christopher for a date, but only if he would come over later tonight. He'd wanted to surprise Christopher, but he really feared that him keeping the dark-haired Münchner in suspense for so long would backfire at him now. Christopher couldn't know that Erik had reserved a table in their favorite restaurant and dressed up for him and only him, but it was too late now, and he could only hope that Christopher wouldn't misinterpret Marco's visit and think that Erik had invited the blond and wanted to tell him that he'd chosen Marco over him this way.

“Who is that?” Marco asked with narrowed eyes when footsteps on the stairs announced Christopher's arrival, and Erik swallowed and cleared his throat, unsure how to introduce the two so different men to each other.

Christopher's dark shock of hair appeared in the doorway before Erik had found the right answer to that question, and Erik's heart started to hammer that loud that it drowned out any other sound for a moment.

The older defender stopped as if he'd run against an invisible wall when he saw Marco standing close to Erik in the hallway, moving even closer to wrap his arm around Erik's shoulder with a possessive gesture when he acknowledged the dark-haired Münchner as his rival instantly. Christopher's genuine smile he had wanted to greet Erik with faded, and he briefly narrowed his eyes as well, looking back and forth between Erik and Marco silently for a moment.

Erik felt like a mouse trapped between two big cats, and he hated himself for his sudden inability to speak, no sound coming out of his mouth when he opened it and tried to explain what wasn't to explain at all.

“Hello Marco. It's good to see that Erik's old friends still care about him so much,” Christopher finally spoke up, his voice calm and carefully controlled. “I didn't mean to disturb you, I can see that you were about to go out. Huddersfield is a beautiful town, I'm sure that you will enjoy your time here.” He turned his head to look at Erik, and the younger one thought that his heart would break when he saw the hurt in Christopher's brown eyes. It was only for a split second, but it was clear to see and it hurt Erik just as much.

“You'd forgotten your jacket in my car, Erik. I just came to give it back to you. I - I wish you a wonderful evening with your – friend,” Christopher said, pushing the garment into Erik's arms before turning around and heading downstairs again without any other word and before Erik could stop him.

“Chris, please wait, it's not like you think it to be...” Erik murmured, but Christopher was already gone. He could feel Marco's amber-green eyes burning a hole in his face, and Erik drew in a shaky breath and straightened his shoulders, looking at Marco without blinking when he cleared his throat again and said:

“We need to talk, Marco.”

 

 ***

 

Erik cupped his mug with two hands, hoping that the hot tea would warm his icy-cold fingers. Marco sat opposite to him on the other kitchen chair with slumped shoulders, staring unseeing into his own mug.

“Sorry for having ruined your date,” he said at last, raising his eyes to meet Erik's gaze.

“You really should stop surprising me with your visits. What if I hadn't been at home?” Erik gave back without answering to the implied question whether or not Christopher had been his date tonight.

“I'd checked your games and appointments,” Marco admitted with a blush, drawing patterns over the shiny wood of the kitchen table. “If you hadn't been there, then I had searched for a hotel and waited for you to come back. I thought that you would be happy to see me after... after the last time.”

“Really? It wasn't me being so silent over the last weeks, Marco. I've gotten the impression that you felt uncomfortable about our night, and that you were actually glad about the distance between us – that you tried to tell me with your silence what you were too cowardly to tell it to my face.” Erik hadn't realized how much bitterness was still inside him, how betrayed and used he still felt that Marco had waited with confessing his feelings to him until Erik had left Dortmund and put an ocean between them with his move.

Marco flinched, but he didn't object against Erik's words. “It's complicated,” he defended himself, but it sounded like the excuse it actually was, lame and not really convinced.

“No, it's not, Marco, not if you don't make things being complicated on purpose. It's actually quite simple. You're not ready for a serious relationship, and God knows if you'll ever be – at least when it comes to another man. It was the same with Mario back then, wasn't it?”

Marco swallowed. “You know about Mario?”

Erik resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I'm not dense, Marco. The only difference with Mario was that he had a hard time admitting his feelings for you just as much, the two of you are on the same page here.”

“Hmm.” Marco stared into his mug again, and Erik sighed. “You've mentioned Mario in your messages a lot of times lately. That's why you came here, Marco, isn't it? You still have feelings for him, and you thought it to be safer to come to me because I live far away now and because I am not such a threat to you like he actually still is. You thought that spending another night with me would help you resisting him and ignoring your feelings for him.”

“It's not like that!” Marco protested, looking taken aback and hurt. “I really like you, Erik, always have.”

“I know, but liking someone and being in love with them are two different kind of things,” Erik said, his voice softening a bit when he saw the confusion on Marco's face. He had to think of the moment when Christopher had told him that he liked him, and he really wished that he hadn't waited so long to tell him how he felt about him - because the possibility that he'd missed the only chance to do that was pretty high. Erik chided himself, but he knew that he had needed the time to come to terms with his feelings, and Christopher probably wouldn't have believed him anyway, sensing his uncertainty.

Marco regarded him for a while. “You are in love with him, aren't you?”

Erik bit down on his bottom lip. He needed to talk to Christopher, and he really wanted him to be the first one hearing him say these words out loud. It didn't feel right to talk about his feelings to Marco when Christopher didn't know about them, and so he just smiled sadly.

“This here is not about me and Christopher, Marco. It's about you and me. We had a wonderful night together and yes, you've meant a lot to me for a very long time. You still mean a lot to me – as a friend. We will never know what could have been if I had been able to stay in Dortmund, but they didn't want me any longer, and I've finally moved on.”

Erik paused, reaching out to cup Marco's hand with his own and squeeze it gently. “It was hard at the beginning, I was homesick and felt lonely, and I couldn't stop thinking about the what ifs. What if I had played better, what if I hadn't been injured for so long, what if I had told you how I felt about you years ago. But it's pointless to dwell in the past and ask myself what could have been if only things had been different. I'm happy here now, I really am. I have found wonderful friends, and I can finally play football again. That's what I always wanted to do, Marco. Play football.”

Marco smiled at him, squeezing his fingers in return. “Yes, I know. I'm happy for you, Erik. It seems as if you had truly been able to start anew. Sometimes I wished I could start anew as well. It isn't the same any longer without all of you. So many friends have left the BVB, sometimes I can help but think that I've gotten the harder part, that staying behind is harder than leaving.”

“It probably is,” Erik agreed thoughtfully. “But you're not alone, Marco. You have still friends there, and you're a valued member of your club. And there is still Mario. Don't be afraid to live your life and be happy, Marco. Life is too short to deny yourself what you really want and need,” he said, smiling a little when he thought of Michael's reaction to his pining. The tall defender didn't seem to have any prejudices that two of his teammates were more than just friends, he only wanted his friends to be happy, and Erik was positive that most of the other players felt the same way about this topic. Marco nodded slowly, sipping from his cold tea. “You're right, Erik, thank you.”

For a while they just sat there in companionable silence, until Marco looked up again. “I should leave you. I'm sorry for having ruined your date, Erik. I can see that you had something special planned for tonight,” he said with a crooked smile, his eyes sparkling as he observed Erik's appearance. “Christopher is a lucky man, I hope that he knows that.”

Erik blushed, but he smiled back. “Will you be okay, Marco?” he asked, and Marco nodded again. “Yes, I'm fine, Erik.” He stood up, and Erik followed him to his front door. “I hope that we can stay friends, Marco,” he said hoarsely, and the blond Dortmunder pulled him into a tight hug.

“I hope that too, Erik.” Erik embraced him, closing his eyes when Marco's scent filled his senses, inhaling it deeply. Memories flashed before his closed lids, an entire movie playing in his mind. He remembered how excited he'd been when Jürgen had offered him a place in the first team, the moment when he had stood before Marco for the first time. The games they had played together, the many afternoons and nights they had spent together playing FIFA, watching movies or just chilling together, and Erik remembered the one special and bittersweet night they had been more than just friends, Marco's kisses and the way he'd looked when he'd made love to him.

Erik knew that he would never forget that night, and he was grateful for it, silently saying goodbye to Marco when he pulled back to smile at him and press one last kiss onto his lips.

“Thank you, Marco, for everything,” he murmured, and Marco cupped his face with his hands and kissed him, a soft and gentle goodbye kiss.

“I have to thank you, Erik. I really hope that you will find the happiness you more than deserve here in Huddersfield,” he said, stroking Erik's warm cheek before turning around and opening the door.

Erik watched him leave with a small smile, one silent tear rolling down on the cheek Marco had just stroked. When the blond Dortmunder was out of sight, he lifted his hand to his lips where he could still feel Marco's touch, his voice hoarse but firm when he whispered in the fading light of the early night:

“I wish you the same, Marco, I really do.”


	5. In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco has paid Erik another surprise visit, and Erik has finally talked to him and closed this chapter of his old life. Will Christopher listen to him and give him a second chance or has Marco's visit ruined everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dearest GoForGoals,
> 
> I wanted to finish this story for you before I have to go back to work, now I can go back to my hurting Doms and their boys and my proud Romans and Teutons. ;-*  
> I hope that you will like this last chapter, I included another first time for you in there. :-) I will surely go back to writing Durmindler one day, and maybe also try another ship, but I will also always return to our beloved Durmeus of course. Durmeus was what brought us together, and I will never forget that and stop sailing this ship together with you. Thank you for always being there for me and listening to me, I'm so grateful for everything you're doing for me, and I hope that this little fic serves as a small thank you and makes you smile a bit. <33

This time it was Erik standing before a front door of someone to make a surprise visit, hoping that Christopher would let him in and listen to him. He hadn't called or texted him beforehand, fearing that the older defender would tell him that he didn't want to see him, and he heaved a relieved sigh when he saw Christopher's car standing on its usual parking spot. Christopher wasn't the man to go to a bar and drown his sorrow in alcohol, but Erik had feared that he would perhaps seek comfort and go to visit and talk to one of his friends.

It still could be that Christopher wasn't at home or that he would refuse to open the door of course, and Erik murmured silent prayers that Marco's attempt to forget Mario with him hadn't bereft him of his chance to be together with Christopher.

His fingers trembled when he pressed the button of the door bell, and he flinched when the intercom buzzed and Christopher's slightly distorted voice sounded next to his ear after several long seconds that stretched to an eternity.

“Yes?”

Maybe he should start to use his own intercom as well, just to avoid situations like tonight in the future, Erik thought, but it was mostly his friends ringing his door bell, and Erik had never in a million years expected Marco to pay him another surprise visit tonight of all times.

“It's me, Erik. Please let me in,” he begged, his voice almost not obeying his brain's order. Three or four seconds passed before the buzzer sounded, and Erik pushed the door open, feeling sweat forming on his forehead and exhaling the breath he'd been holding.

Christopher leaned against the wall next to the small wardrobe for his jackets and his coats, his arms folded across his chest and dressed in a pair of washed-out blue jeans and a simple white tee instead of the elegant clothes he'd worn when he had pushed Erik's jacket into his arms. But he'd never looked better to Erik than in this moment, and Erik felt his throat go dry with desire and longing for the other man watching him warily. Christopher's dark hair was hopelessly ruffled as if he'd carded his fingers through it several times, and his warm brown eyes didn't sparkle as he returned Erik's pleading gaze impassively, thin lines around his sensitive lips the only sign that the older one wasn't as unmoved as he appeared to be.

Erik closed the door behind himself, stopping uncertainly when Christopher didn't move, just regarded him silently, apparently not willing to beckon him in and let himself be hurt again. This was probably the only chance he would get to tell Christopher how he felt about him, and Erik really didn't want to fuck this up, but he didn't know how to start, and Christopher's silent scrutiny didn't make it any easier for him to explain himself to him. Erik inhaled and exhaled to collect himself, grateful when his voice actually obeyed him.

“I'm so sorry, Chris... I had no clue that Marco would come to visit me. We hadn't talked much for a rather long time, and I would never have thought that he would show up on my threshold tonight. How could I have known that anyway? I had planned everything for tonight – for us...” Erik swallowed dryly, “...for our date, and then Marco suddenly stood in the doorway and I couldn't refuse to let him in and talk to him...”

Christopher didn't react, just stared at him with this controlled and unreadable expression, and Erik licked over his dry lips to wet them. The other man's gaze dropped down to his mouth for the blink of an eye before returning back to Erik's pleading glance again.

“I wanted this night to be special for us, I had reserved a table in our favorite restaurant because I really wanted to show you...” Erik drew in another shaky breath. “You were so kind to me right from the start, so caring and attentive and understanding, helping me to settle in here and all...” He knew that he was babbling and stammering and that he was most likely making things worse; and he collected himself and straightened his shoulders when he continued to speak after clearing his throat twice.

“And I'm really grateful that you were so patient and gave me the time that I needed to make up my mind and know what I'm feeling, Chris, but...”

“but I'm not Marco Reus and his unexpected visit made you realize that you still want him,” Christopher interrupted him in a shallow voice that didn't betray his feelings, and Erik blinked and stared at him in confusion for a moment. Christopher's voice was hoarse and calm, and his words didn't hold any accusation. He was merely stating a matter of fact – saying what he thought to be the truth - and he didn't look angry, only exhausted and resigned, defeated.

Erik blinked again, shaking his head to clear his mind. “...but I don't need any more time to make up my mind, Chris, because I'm totally and crazy head over heels in love with you!” he finished his sentence as if Christopher hadn't said anything. “I know that it's probably too late and that you don't want to have anything to do with me any longer after Marco's visit, but I really wanted to tell you how I feel about you.”

The next thing he knew was Christopher jumping him like a giant cat would jump its prey, and his head banged against the door when the dark-haired Münchner claimed his mouth in an ardent and almost violent kiss, pressing him against the hard wood with his own body weight to keep him trapped and immobile as he attacked his mouth, all of his carefully hidden emotions breaking free at once.

Christopher had never kissed him like that beforehand, with so much unrestrained passion and longing, demanding Erik's complete surrender to his kiss as he licked his way around in his mouth, caressing each spot within his reach and leaving Erik no other choice than to kiss him back with every fiber of his being. Erik's lips hurt from being stretched to their limits, and his mind was swimming from the crash with the door, but he didn't care about anything of that, too happy that Christopher was willing to give him a second chance and kiss him like that. Their tongues danced around each other in a heated and yet playful battle, and Erik was totally out of breath and achingly hard in his tight jeans by the time the need for air forced them to break apart.

Christopher stared down at him with glowing dark eyes, looking like a fierce and dangerous predator that had cornered its prey to drag it into its den and have its way with it. Their chests were heaving with their raged breathing, and Erik's lips were numb from the passionate onslaught, a small drop of blood coating Erik's smooth bottom lip where Christopher's teeth had grazed it. The other man was still pressing him against the door, his jaw working when he lifted his hand to cup Erik's burning face and wipe the small red drop from his lip with the tip of his thumb.

Erik swallowed, a hot wave of lust shooting through him when he returned Christopher's hungry stare. “Uhm, does your kiss mean that you return my feelings?” he finally croaked out, grateful that Christopher's arm kept him upright because his knees buckled with another wave of desire, making his already dazed mind spin even more.

“What do you think, handsome?” Christopher countered with a question, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips when he took in Erik's disheveled state – his glowing cheeks, his hooded eyes, swollen lips and his thoroughly tousled hair.

“Would you mind – would you mind saying these words aloud as well, then?” Erik whispered, the bright pink in his cheeks turning into crimson red, and Christopher's smile deepened. He bent forward again, his kiss soft and teasing his time. He nibbled at Erik's lips, stroking them with the tip of his tongue, keeping Erik's face trapped with both hands. Erik had never thought that he could come just from another man kissing him, but he feared that he would embarrass himself and come in his pants just like that if Christopher kept kissing him this way, pulling needy moans and whines from him with his caresses.

“I'm totally and crazy head over heels in love with you too, handsome,” Christopher finally whispered only millimeters apart from his lips, demanding entrance to his mouth once more before Erik could say anything, and Erik pulled at his head to deepen their kiss happily, trying to remember the last time he'd been as happy as he was in this moment, pressed against Christopher's front door, his head hurting from its encounter with the hard door and close to coming in his clothes just from the other man's passionate kiss.

 

***

 

“I'm so sorry that I've ruined our date,” Erik murmured when Christopher drew back from his lips again, burying his face on his shoulder. “I wanted to invite you and have dinner with you, and afterwards I wanted to ask you to come home with me and make love to me. I really didn't know that Marco would come to visit me, please believe me! I'll make up for tonight, I promise you.”

“Hush, shshshsh, it's fine, handsome. You don't have to make up for anything, and you didn't ruin our date, we still can have it,” Christopher soothed him, stroking his cheek and gently laying his fingers under Erik's chin to make him look up at him.

Erik did, swallowing when the saw the desire in the other man's dark eyes. “I canceled the reservation because it is too late for our dinner now anyway, but I still want you to make love to me.” He paused, feeling his face heat up again. “I've prepared myself for you before I came here. I... I didn't know if you'd listen to me and believe me that I hadn't invited Marco, but I wanted to at least try it. I'm finally ready, and I really long to know how it feels to be close to you, Chris, how it feels when you make love to me.”

His confession earned him another deep and passionate kiss, and Erik wrapped his long legs around Christopher's waist when his favorite giant tomcat lifted him up with a low growl to carry him over to his lair and claim him there, his lips never leaving Erik's mouth.

More kisses followed while they undressed each other carefully, stroking every inch of warm and fragrant skin they revealed when they removed every piece of clothing from their bodies. Christopher knelt down before him to pull Erik's tight jeans over his legs, kissing his hip and his knees that had troubled Erik so much over the past two years, and Erik felt his eyes become wet when he saw the look on the other man's face. He had never felt as cherished and loved as he felt in Christopher's arms, and he could hardly wait to lie in his arms again and feel him deep inside him.

The dark-haired Münchner gently pressed him onto the mattress when they were finally naked, stroking and kissing each other with passion and tenderness, and Erik looked up at the older one and caressed his face with his fingers. “Please make love to me, Chris, I long to be yours, I cannot wait any longer.”

Christopher dabbed tender kisses all over his face. “You don't know how long I've waited for you to say these words to me, handsome. I desire you so much, so so much.” Erik watched him when Christopher rolled the condom over his throbbing length, and his own cock twitched eagerly at the sight. He'd made sure that Christopher could take him when Marco had left him and he'd been alone again in his dark flat, preparing himself for the man he'd fallen in love with so deeply without realizing it for so long. Erik was aching with the need to be taken and loved, his forceful desire for the amazing man who had showed him what true love was making it easy for the other one to enter him when he covered him with his strong body.

Christopher kissed him when he pushed into him, slowly and with rapt devotion, and Erik wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, craving to become one with him in every possible way. It felt so good to give himself to Christopher like that, and he tried to make the other man move when he was finally sheathed to the hilt inside his body.

Christopher trembled above him, hiding his face in the warm crook where Erik's shoulder met his neck. “I need a moment, handsome. You're so incredibly tight and hot,” the older man confessed hoarsely, his voice choked and strangled with emotions. Christopher had always been so patient and understanding, always the perfect gentleman caring only about Erik's comfort and well-being, and Erik realized only now how much it must have cost him to hide his other side from him, the darker, strong-willed, predatory and passionate side.

Erik had caught a glimpse of it during their training match, when Christopher had changed from the friend and teammate to the merciless opponent who wanted to win the game at all costs, and he'd seen this side rising to the surface when Christopher had kissed him in his hallway.

Erik loved Christopher's caring and tender side, but he also liked the rougher and more dominant man just as much, and he dug his nails into his backside and urged him on to move. “I don't want you to hold back, love, I want you to take me and show me how much you want me,” he murmured against Christopher's tousled hair, bucking his hips up against him.

“You have no idea how much I desire you, Erik. I'm not sure that I can wait for you.” Christopher raised his head to kiss him almost desperately, but he started to move, unable to lie still any longer, his desire too painful to ignore it any longer.

“You don't have to, love. Just make love to me, take me, please!”

Christopher gave in to his overwhelming need with a small sound that was something between a moan and a sob, pushing into Erik's quivering hole again and again. He was so hard and big, throbbing heavily inside him, and Erik wrapped his legs around his back to feel him even deeper in his secret core, his own painfully hard cock rubbing against Christopher's worked-out abs with every move they made.

Christopher succumbed to his pleasure without trying to fight it any longer when he felt Erik's passionate reactions to his powerful thrusts, possessing him all over again until Erik felt like flying and bursting at the same time. He loved to be on top and turn the other man into a panting and gasping mess, but this here felt even so much better, and Erik moved against him with the same urgency, his short nails leaving red marks on Christopher's back where he was digging them into the smooth and hot skin in his weak attempts to ground himself and not just explode right there and then.

Christopher mirrored his thrusts with his tongue, claiming Erik's mouth like he was claiming his body, and Erik thought that this must be heaven on Earth, the man he desired and loved more than anything holding him and making love to him so ardently and tenderly at the same time.

“God, you're wonderful, handsome. I've waited so long for this, so damn long,” Christopher murmured at his swollen lips, “love you so much.”

“Love you too, Chris, need you!” Erik gasped out when the other man went rigid above him, thrusting hard and deep into him one last time. Erik could feel his cock growing harder and bigger inside his cramping channel, the twitching when Christopher came into the rubber massaging his sensitive walls. His lover muffled his strangled cry on Erik's damp throat, and the sensation of the older one losing himself in his passion and ecstasy was too much for Erik. He arched his back with a loud moan when he exploded together with the other man, spurting hot and wet against his stomach, his clenching hole milking the last drops from Christopher's slowly softening cock. It lasted for a little eternity, and Erik let out a small whimper when the hot waves faded to the softer ones of their shared aftermath, relaxing gratefully in Christopher's arms still holding him tight.

“Love you, Chris.” Erik turned his head to search for Christopher's warm lips, and his exhausted love sighed and kissed him softly. “Love you too, Erik,” he said, lifting his head to smile down at him, and Erik smiled back, snuggling close to him with a small purring noise of satisfaction.

 

***

 

“Where is Marco now?” Christopher asked him some time later when they were lying on their sides under the covers, facing each other. He was stroking Erik's face, tracing along the lines as if he wanted to burn Erik's features into his memory forever.

Erik pressed into the tender touch like a small tomcat that wanted to be stroked. “On his way home I guess. Or maybe in a hotel room. He's a grown-up man, I didn't ask him.” He paused, searching for the right words. “Marco was my first love, the first man I really loved. But we were never more than friends, and nothing ever happened between us until I left Dortmund. He visited me shortly after I'd come here, but it was only one night.” He cupped Christopher's hand on his face with his own, pressing a brief kiss against his palm.

“Marco will always be important to me, Chris, he will always be my friend, but that's all. I had a hard time at the beginning when I came to England, feeling like a failure and not good enough to be loved and play for my beloved BVB, but my feelings have changed, and I'm happy now – happier than I'd ever thought that I could be here. I want this here to work out – I want us to work out. I want to play a great season together with all of you, and I want us to be more than just friends with benefits. I want us to be together, like in really be together with everything that comes to that.” Erik stopped slightly out of breath, and Christopher's heated gaze assured him that the man he loved wanted the same.

“I want us to be together – really be together – just as much, Erik.” He grinned, and he actually looked sheepish when he met Erik's gaze. “I've been in love with you for ages,” he confessed, and Erik's eyes widened in surprise.

“I remember the first time I saw you playing in München – against Bayern München of course - not my former club 1860 München. I saw you on the pitch and I still remember how I thought that you were too beautiful to be true. My heart was beating faster, and I felt like a young teenager with his first crush, ridiculously in love with someone I'd only seen from the distance and who I could never have. From that day on, I looked at every picture of you I could find, and I felt for you when you became injured and couldn't play for such a long time. I told myself that I was a mature and that it was stupid to have a crush on you, but my heart didn't want to listen to the voice of reason, no matter how hard I tried to forget you.  
Then I met your old coach David and I had to think of you of course, and when he asked me to join Huddersfield, I didn't even need to think twice. My heart was still beating faster every time I caught sight of you somewhere in the Social Media, but I hoped that the distance and me playing in England would finally help me to get over you.  
Imagine my surprise when we heard the news that you would join us. I couldn't believe my ears, and I felt crushed when they told us that you wouldn't come at first. But David didn't give up on you, and I'm so happy that he didn't.”

Erik gaped at Christopher for a moment, stunned into astonished silence, because this was really something he hadn't seen it coming, and he wrapped his arms around the dark-haired and kissed him as if he never wanted to let go of him again. “I'm happy that David didn't give up on me too, love. Oh wow, that's... you really had a crush on me for so long? If I'd only known that! You really know how to amaze me and flatter me, Chris!” he snickered a little bit, and Christopher growled and kissed the laughter from his lips.

“I love you,” he said when he was trying to catch his breath a few minutes later, his voice serious again, and Christopher kissed him on his nose and smiled at him. “I love you too, handsome. Very much.”

They kissed almost the entire time when Christopher made love to him for a second time after more kisses and caresses, drawing it out and savoring it to the fullest until Erik was begging him to make him come. They came together, clinging to each other and whispering words of passion, and Erik fell asleep in Christopher's arms afterwards with a happy smile on his face.

Marco had been his first love, and Erik would never forget him, but he belonged to his past, to a chapter of Erik's life that had been closed when he had left the BVB. Christopher was the man he loved now, belonging to his future, and Erik was eager to explore this future together with him, a future that lay ahead of him brightly and promisingly.

He had been so sad when he'd had to leave Dortmund, but now he was happier than ever, grateful that life had offered him such an unexpected chance to start anew. Every end was also the chance for a new start, and Erik would make the best out of the chance he'd been given, together with Christopher by his side, the man he loved with all his heart.


End file.
